As Men’s Mental Health Month continues, a counsellor from Pembina Counselling Centre is encouraging men across the Pembina Valley to reach out when life’s challenges begin affecting their well-being.
Steve Kauenhofen, who joined Pembina Counselling Centre more than a year ago, says many men continue to struggle in silence because of long-standing cultural expectations that discourage them from seeking help.
“Culture, society has said that’s weakness (reaching out for help),” said Kauenhofen. “But in fact, that takes the most courage.”
Breaking down barriers
Kauenhofen said men often face pressures to appear strong and self-reliant, making it difficult to acknowledge when they are struggling.
He noted that issues commonly affecting men include trauma recovery, self-worth challenges and addiction recovery, in addition to more common concerns such as anxiety and depression.
According to Kauenhofen, many men have grown up hearing messages such as “tough it out” or “pull yourself up by your bootstraps,” which can create barriers to seeking support.
Those pressures can be especially evident in agricultural communities, where many factors affecting a person’s livelihood are beyond their control.
“You’re under this pressure as a man to be strong, to be able to overcome anything,” he said. “And yet you’re told, ‘You don’t have control over that.'”
Kauenhofen explained that when things go wrong, people often internalize situations that may be outside their control, leading to feelings of failure and increased emotional strain.
A flashlight in the darkness
One analogy Kauenhofen often uses compares mental health conversations to a flashlight in a dark room.
He described mental health challenges as trying to navigate a room filled with obstacles while unable to see where they are.
“But then envision someone giving you a flashlight, and you can start to shed light on your path and where you’re going,” he said. “I envision these conversations as being those flashlights.”
Kauenhofen said conversations with trusted individuals, whether a counsellor, friend, family member or other support person, can help people better understand what they are experiencing and find a path forward.
Knowing when to reach out
For men wondering whether they should seek support, Kauenhofen suggests paying attention to changes in their behaviour and outlook.
“If you feel different than what you have and you’ve lost this joy, you’ve lost the zeal to do what brings you joy or brings you happiness, or if you find yourself isolating yourself or withdrawing from family, look for a ‘flashlight’,” he said.
He encourages anyone experiencing those signs to connect with someone who can help shed light on what they are going through.
Kauenhofen also stressed that counselling sessions are designed to be judgment-free environments where clients can be themselves.
“I tell every client, there’s nothing that you can tell me that will embarrass me, and number two, cause me to judge you,” he said.
As Men’s Mental Health Month continues, Kauenhofen hopes more men will recognize that asking for help is a sign of strength rather than weakness.
“If you find yourself in the shadows and you’re finding yourself different than how you’ve been and you wished you could get back to where you’ve been, look us up,” he said.
Visit Pembina Counselling Centre’s website, or call (204)822-6622.