Forgiveness is difficult. At first when we are wronged, our instinct is often to seek justice, forget about mercy! Justice feels like it gives us something, whereas mercy requires something from us. But the path to forgiveness begins by reflecting on the offense itself.
Often, we can’t forgive because we feel like something irreplaceable has been taken from us—our hope, our security, or even our livelihood. In these cases, we’re left with anger, and sometimes denial, to cover the pain. Offences can turn us from passive victims to vengeful aggressors. But how can we balance justice and love? God’s call is clear: love the offender, but hate the offence. And if God asks us to forgive, He must provide a way to do it.
Matthew 9:13 reminds us that God values mercy over sacrifice. He desires restoration, not merely a debt paid. Forgiveness, at its core, means releasing the demand for repayment. It’s a shift in the heart that frees us from the hold of past wrongs.
I once struggled with a lingering resentment over a borrowed extension cord that was never returned. Years later, a friend gave me a better one, and just like that, the debt was paid. I never again felt a claim on the old debt. I pondered the quick shift in my feelings. I truly felt free. Free from negative feelings associated with the memory. What changed? I realized that a debt I couldn’t settle was erased, and my resentment vanished.
This experience echoes a greater truth: a debt we couldn’t pay has been forgiven in Christ. Our desire for justice, while valid, pales in comparison to the need for mercy. Once we’ve received mercy and grace, we can approach others with forgiveness. Our hope, rooted in Christ, remains unshaken by any offense.
Forgiveness is the first step in reconciliation. We can forgive, but true reconciliation requires both parties. In forgiving, we restore, and in that, we reflect God’s love. God’s actions toward His children often stem from His will, not His emotions. Likewise, we are called to forgive—not just for our sake, but to restore relationships in love.